Students and (In)Civility

As the nation becomes even more politically divided, students are likely to encounter conversations on campus about presidential elections and other hot-button issues. These discussions can be challenging, especially when interacting with people who hold differing viewpoints. In such a charged atmosphere, how can students engage in these conversations civilly, without having them spiral into heated arguments? Here are some tips to foster respectful dialogue, maintain civil discourse and grow from difficult conversations.

The Power of Underlying Interests

When discussing controversial topics, it’s easy to focus on the surface-level disagreements, such as opposing views on gun control, climate change or social justice. But what often goes unrecognized is that beneath these opposing stances lie shared interests. For example, consider the issue of gun control: Some individuals in urban areas may view firearms as dangerous due to concerns about violence, whereas others in rural areas might see guns as important for personal protection. Both parties, though coming from different perspectives, are fundamentally concerned about personal safety. Recognizing this shared value opens a door for civil conversation.

Rather than reacting to provocative statements, it’s crucial to look deeper and identify the underlying concerns or fears that might be driving the person’s position. When we recognize the shared humanity in each other's concerns—whether it’s safety, justice or fairness—we create a foundation for empathy. From this place of empathy, even difficult conversations can be steered toward mutual understanding, rather than becoming shouting matches.

Civil Discourse in a Free Speech Environment

Freedom of speech is a right students often take to heart, especially on college campuses, which are traditionally viewed as bastions of open expression. However, free speech, as defined by legal frameworks, is not without its limits. As students navigate debates and discussions, it’s important to remember that while they have the right to voice their opinions, this right comes with responsibilities. Civil discourse is not about suppressing your voice; rather, it’s about expressing your views in a manner that encourages healthy dialogue.

One of the key lessons for students—and one that may serve them well as they transition into the workforce—is to listen more than they speak. In difficult conversations, individuals are quick to respond, eager to rebut the other person’s stance. Yet, by taking the time to genuinely listen and ask clarifying questions, students can foster more thoughtful exchanges. Active listening shows respect, even when opinions differ, and can reveal areas of common ground that might otherwise go unnoticed. Developing strong listening skills is an integral part of effective communication.

Another important strategy is to replace judgment with curiosity. When someone expresses a view that contradicts your own, approach it with an open mind. Ask yourself, "What can I learn from this perspective?" Rather than rushing to invalidate their opinion, engage with a mindset of discovery. As a student, nurturing curiosity—especially about opposing views—may lead to personal growth and a more nuanced understanding of the world. Learning to navigate difficult conversations in school can be an important life skill.

The Role of the Bystander in Incivility

Incivility isn’t always directed at you personally. Sometimes, students find themselves in the role of a bystander, witnessing heated exchanges or uncivil behavior toward others. This can be an uncomfortable position, especially when deciding whether or not to intervene. Should you step in to defend someone, or would that make the situation worse?

The answer isn’t always clear-cut. Every situation is different, and intervening without fully understanding the context can sometimes disempower the person who is the target of incivility. They might be handling the situation in a way that aligns with their approach—perhaps choosing not to engage or waiting for the right moment to respond. In such cases, a well-meaning intervention could unintentionally escalate the conflict.

However, there are subtle ways to offer support without overstepping. A simple question such as "Is everything OK?" can open the door for the person to either accept or decline your help, based on their comfort level. Offering support, rather than imposing it, respects the autonomy of the individual while also showing that you are paying attention and care about the outcome of the situation.

The Value of Dispute Resolution Training

Navigating these complex interpersonal dynamics is no small feat, which is why conflict resolution is a well-established field of study. Conflict, whether it arises from cultural misunderstandings, differing political views or personal disagreements, is a natural part of life. However, knowing how to de-escalate situations and mediate conflicts effectively requires a specific set of skills. Many students may benefit from formal training in conflict resolution, which teaches how to listen actively, mediate disputes and facilitate difficult conversations.

JAMS Pathways offers professional training services designed to address conflict and enhance communication skills. Their trainers and facilitators provide tailored programs that equip students with the tools needed to effectively navigate challenging conversations. By participating in such training, students can gain valuable insights into conflict de-escalation and develop the confidence to handle difficult conversations both on campus and in their future careers.

When Conversations Turn Unsafe

While civil discourse is the goal, students must always prioritize their safety. In some instances, a discussion may escalate beyond heated debate and cross into threatening territory. If a conversation begins to feel unsafe or the other person’s behavior becomes aggressive, it’s important to prioritize well-being. An uncomfortable person should leave the situation, immediately if necessary, and seek help from campus security or authorities if an encounter takes a threatening turn.

No one is obligated to stay in a conversation that feels physically or emotionally unsafe. It’s important for students to trust their instincts—if something feels wrong, it likely is. If the situation escalates to actual verbal or physical threats, it’s critical to report the incident to the appropriate authorities to help promote both personal safety and the safety of the campus community.

Looking Ahead: Civility Beyond Campus

The skills students develop in navigating civil conversations on campus may be valuable beyond their college years. As they enter the workforce, they will encounter colleagues, clients and managers with a wide array of opinions, backgrounds and experiences. The ability to engage in respectful debate, even in the face of disagreement, is a crucial professional skill.